Blah... Still.

Okay so I am still down in this crappy blah funk.

I hate the scales. Absolutely hate them. I hate how they control and determine my outlook for the day (yes don't say "oh well don't let it get to you or don't look at it") but I do weigh myself every day and it does get me down. Really down sometimes.

It just seems there is always 1 or 2 things in your life that isn't how you want it.
Work is good. Past the new person phase and already getting annoyed with things ha.
Money is good. Well will be soon. Consolidating some debt and will have it paid off sensibly over time and still have all my savings plus more.
Boyfriend is great. We've bought some furniture and whitegoods and getting serious about finding a place. Been looking for hours the past few weekends but haven't been fighting about it much and we are both excited to be making the next big step.
Friends are normal-ish. Everyone is going well, meeting up with some old acquantainces soon and need to put myself out there with my friends but I am missing one of my old besties (who pushed me away and cut me off for no reason). When something good or bad happens I just want to tell her, and my BF lives literally a 1 min drive from her house so I pass her street every weekend about 8 times and its hard.

Last but not least - weight. It seems to be sitting at the same amount and I hate it. I keep comparing myself to others which I know I shouldn't do but I do. I;m going to talk to a dietician next week. A friend of mine is studying to be a nutrionist/dietician and I was talking to her and she said I may not be eating enough kJs to lose weight and might be eating too many for starvation mode (so I'm sitting in between and my body is just holding onto the minimal kJs I am eating in case it doesn't get anymore) - so she enouraged me to talk to my Dr's dietician.

Anyways that's enough whinging negative nancy crap. I am going to sit down tonight and think of some Non Scale Victories (NSV) and other positives that don't involve 1 fucking number and post them tomorrow and print them off to have on my visualisation board.

Hope everyone else is feeling and going a little better than me. Oh I am going to an engagement party this weekend so will post some new pics of me. The scales may not be changing but I personally think my body shape certainly is.

Maddie
xo