Saturday, April 18, 2009


So overnight I have gained about 1.5kg - damn monthlies are coming soon so I know thats why but it is still disappointing and annoying.

Now that I am working full time (6 days a week actually which is killing me) I have noticed my eating has improved and I don't eat that much anymore although somedays I can eat a sandwich and other days bread will kill me.

My life feels like a bit of a shit at the moment. I had a teary to my mumushka (what I call my mum)last night about how my life just isn't where I hoped or thought it would be at the moment. I am reassessing my relationship with my bf at the moment and find I am not coping having any "maddie" time due to working 6 days a week and then driving to his house and then back home Sunday night just to do it all over again. My wonderful mumushka reminded me that I have had a stresful past 4 mths from having the band to being made redundant and struggling getting a job which resulted in financial strain to all of a sudden working 6 days a week. So I have decided I will soon give up my Saturday job and at this point in time aiming to go overseas with my mumushka next year. She will come for 3 weeks and after that I might do a Contiki tour by myself or who knows but tha is my goal. I also want to move out in 3 mths time and whether that is with my bf, someone else or by myself who knows. I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

And I've finally accepted (most of the time) that my weightloss is different to everyone else and the fact that I am losing weight is good enough. I know I can do better by exercising more but it took years to get myself fat and lazy and terrible habits so I need to realise it will take time to really get into my good habits and everyday it is a learning curve for me with my band.

I'm going out next w.end with the girls for a big bender so I think it will be good to have some fun and not worry and I'm sure once my hangover wears off I will feel better about the bf - he is great but the external factors at the moment are just straining our relationship.

Anyways I better do some work but needed to clear my head.

Have a great w.end to anyone who actually reads this lol.

Oh and thanks to the nice comments about my red dress.



Bridget said...

I've got the Blah's too honey... it sucks royally. I'm trying to push on and just deal with it...???
Big hugs!!! xoxo

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