Toxic Friends.

I had a best friend for 4 years - we went through new loves, break-ups and even a birth together (hers not mine lol and yes I was there during the birth) and helped her leave her abusive boyfriend not once, not twice but three times and coped my fair share of verbal abuse from him. Her and her baby even stayed with my family for a week and I started to notice that she wasn't herself, extremely down all the time, not eating or sleeping, no confidence at all and pushing away friends. Then suddenly she stopped talking to me and I did everything to try to talk to her (yes sadly I was probably a little stalkerish but I cared about her so much) and it turns out apparently I said something to someone at work and she didn't appreciate that so decided to ignore me, no not talk to me or ask me if there was any truth in it (which there isn't). Long story short some other stuff has happened and now I am getting absuive threatening emails from a mutual friend (don't worry she is all talk and has a few issues of her own) so I am over toxic friends! Friends who take 100% of you and give you 10% back. Friends who fuck you over, who don't call you back and who take you for granted. Friends who are not even friends.

So I have blocked the ex-bestie and her friend on my email and facebook and am washing my hands of them (I can see the toxic slime wash of my hands as I type lol). No more wasted tears, worry, anxiety, stress or money on her or any other using, tocix people anymore. This year is about me, for me and me only. I am going to turn that negative energy into positive and focus on myself, my health, my work and my gorgeous amazing boyfriend who is only ever supportive of me and everything I do and puts me first. I have finally realised that is the sort of guy I deserve and now I realise I only deserve/want friends who put in as much as me.

Thank to everyone here for every supportive comment, email or text ever. I am grateful and lucky to have the support.

Skinnie Minnie
xx

P.S - I am still unsure about this fill, sometimes it seems to work, other times it doesn't. I wake up starving - seriously, it is crazy hunger pains and seem to be hungry a few hours later.. hmm going to try to eat more protein and be better this week but may call the Dr and see what he says, or just wait until my next fill - 2nd Feb YAY!

I am better than that and deserve better than that.

Grrr & shout out to some peeps lol

Ughhh I am feeling the restriction. I ate too much (but still feel like its more than what I shold have with 1 fill already) and feel crap now, just the "I ate too much" feeling. I really need to eat slower and eat proper solids.


Plus I hate not having a proper fucking routine. I always tend to eat crap or graze when I don't have a routine - I am a total boredom eater and I miss working and I don't think I am losing enough weight and I hate not having any money, living at home and generally just feeling like my life is going no-where. Ughh I was in such a good positive mood yesterday and now just fuck it all lol. Definitely going to do exercises & swim tomorrow and try and hit the gym as well, I think I have too much time & energy and start to bring myself down.


I have a little quote which I love and try to stick by and tonight I am writing it down about a million times until it sinks in, it is...


Everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay then its not the end!


So deep inside I know it will be okay and everything happens for a reason and I need to get my headspace right & positive again.. anyways off to read The Secret again and get my shit on track.

Anyways feeling a bit better after another vent - god I love this blog hehe.

SkinnieMinnie
xx

P.S - A big/skinnie thanks to Bridget & Nola for the luck and nice comments. I did find out Im shortlisted for a job I really want so good positive energy out the to universe for that!

Rambles.

Ughh I feel crap. I was making a some cupcakes and have a couple of mouthfulls of the icing and feel soo crap now plus have that shoulder-tip pain feeling again!

I am in two minds about my fill - sometimes I can feel restriction and other times nothing at all. I think I could do with a little extra fill but I think I need to eat proper solid foods not soft pastas.. hmm.

So did my exercises this morning then went for some laps tonight - did 15 in about 30mins which is pretty good for me. I lose my technique and confidence when I don't swim for a while so feeling good PLUS I have two job interviews on Monday so trying to stay postive. Oh also I did my own personal filing today so YAY! Will clean room tomorrow :-) Will also try to hit the gym after 4 mths off hmm

Well nighty night everyone - thanks for the comments peeps. Its always nice getting some and knowing ppl are reading this silly little thing. Love & support to ya'll.

Skinnie Minnie
xx

Miss Positive.

Okay so after a decent night sleep and some "The Secret" style meditating, visualising my future shit I am trying to see my current situation as positive.

I wasn't particuarly happy where I was and would have said no if I was offered a permanent role - so now is my chance to find an awesome job, something that I can make a career out of and give me some direction as to what I want to study (that is another resolution that I forgot to add - to have some sort of diploma at least this year). In the mean time I am going to de-clutter my room hardcore. Go through my clothes, drawers everything and focus on myself again :-)

And if anyone knows some legal-easy way to make some $ from home or something that doesn't involve drugs or selling myself (although if I don't have a jobs in 2 weeks that might change lol) let me know, a friend reckons (ugh I hate that word lol) she makes a bit of extra $$ from Avon hmm.

Also thanks for the comment Jen. Blogging is a great way to vent and be open, I don't talk about my weight and feelings blah blah to anyone else really so I love my blog hehe. Good luck with the band though - best thing ever!

Skinnie Minnie
xx

FUCK!!!

Just need to vent, so turn away now!

So at the moment I am doing temp work and was working as a Receptionist. My recruitment agency called me today to tell me that the company can no longer afford a temp so guess who now has no job?! ME!!! I was meant to go back to work tomorrow and now nothing, they couldn't even give me more than a days notice or let me finish of the week so I can get some cash - fuck them! That is such a load of shit. So now I am just feeling crap and what a shit start to the year, I was on such a high and now just cbf.

The only positive is I will be able to go to the gym during the day for a while and get my ass moving!

Also since I am here, fill is going so good, had a smoothie for breakfast (around 9am) then a boost juice (around 1.00pm & was pretty hungry by then) and just had a sml bowl (probably 1/2 cup) of soft pasta and feel full now! Well I feel something, either I'm full or hungry but think it's full so wowsers. Just have to start eating smaller more often.

Skinnie Minnie
xx

Fill!!

Hello to the 5 or 6 people that read my blog :-) hahaha

So I had my first fill yesterday - 7ml (I have a 14ml band) so on fluids at the moment. Had some soup last night which filled me up but I seemed to be pretty hungry about 4 hrs later which the nurse said could happen because the band really starts to kick ass when you can eat solids so bring on that shit!

I've had a friend staying with me so haven't been exercising (although I was at a festival on Saturday and was dancing for about 10hrs - no joke - then had to walk 1.5hrs home so I think that counts as something yeah?!) but she leaves this arvo so I think I will try and hit the gym or go for a walk or do something. Still have to put in my weight stats for yesterday.

Hope everyone is going well in the new year so far :-)

Skinnie Minnie
xx

2009 is mine!

Hope everyone had a great New Year - I actually had one of the best ones so yay and yay for 2009. This is my year to shine haha that sounds sooo lame lol but I have a good feeling about year. And like every other year and I'm sure like everyone else I have a million resolutions. They are:
1 - get fit, healthy & happy
2 - get serious about saving.
3 - go overseas with the bf.
4 - only use my time on people who are worth my time (this also includes trying very hard not too gossip or get into the usual drama that seems to follow some people).

And that's about it.

I hope everyone has a great year :-) Oh and I am off to see my surgeon on Monday and possibly getting a fill so that should be interesting!

Skinnie Minnie
xx