Shit I can't find it... my mojo.

Hmm so today I'm having am/was having one of those negative self-hating days.

I was determined to start exercising and doing shakes only, swimming any time possible, doing my awesome exercises which I know work, getting to bed early and drinking more water - pffft do you think I have done any of that?! So of course last night I start with the whole "well if you can't do that SkinnieMinnie then how on earth can you do the band" etc etc So I had some moments of doubt and thinking I will just fail like every other time but I realise that I will now have a tool which will actually work and I honestly believe that once I start seeing the results it will boost my mojo again (well I'm praying) and I am really determined to do everything I said I would do all of next week.

I started reading Nikki's blog and I am so glad I did because I realise that I might go through the doubting negative phase but I know I will come out of it soon enough and I am so glad I am being banded in 10 days time - I shudder to think what would have become of me if I hadn't seen the Dr. I have lost all motivation and will and succumed to the thought that I will always be fat and never feel comfortable with myself but I know I will soon :-)

This may sound weird and I'm sure some people think its a load of crap but I was reading The Secret and I really believe in its basic meaning. I've always believed 'if you think the worse then the worse will happen', so it makes sense to think 'if you believe in the best, then the best will happen'. Thats a really simple rundown of the Secret but its all about what you're sending out to the universe and what you're getting back so I think I need to start reading it again because it's been inspiration before and I think it will help me again.

Anyways I'm feeling slightly better and not beating myself up too much and want to give a big shout out to Lani & Gemma because they are awesome and a fantastic support network :-)

Skinnie Minnie
xx

P.S - I think I just saw my mojo so I know she's safe and well and I'm sure she'll be back soon :-D