Sunday, January 18, 2009

F is for Friendship.

Hmm I don't know where to start this really but basically I just feel like fucking crap right now. And I know I've talked about this topic several times but its definitely dragging me down.
A "supposed" friend of mine just told me that I don't deserve to have friends because I told him to fuck off and stood up for myself about something and I know I don't need toxic people in my life but shit did those words hurt me and now I can't help think maybe my shitty friendships with people are my fault?! I just feel like I make all the effort with my friends and since me and my boyfie have been going out its been hard because he lives so far away and they are shit at making plans so I just hang out with him but I hardly ever see them and feel really lonely sometimes. I am seeing my old close friends for dinner Wed night so I might try to talk to one in particular about how I'm struggling, I guess no one can help you if you they don't know if you are struggling.
Wow I actually feel better after typing that.

Oh so my stomach has finally calmed down after that second top up fill and solid foods are going down easy and have more restriction, not as much as some people talk about but enough for now I think and I am getting another fill in about 3 1/2 weeks. Still learning and getting use to it and I underestimated how frustrating and hard this band can be sometimes but still wouldn't change it for the world :-) Actually looking fwd to weighing myself tomorrow.


P.S - Bridget I loved that "Body" paragraph. I never thought the stomach band would also work as a mental/brain band.


Bridget said...

F is also for Fuck off....
Excuse the french... but you deserve better. You deserve supportive, loving friends. Post banding I've made the best friends ever. I realised a few months in I needed to get rid of the toxic ones. Felt amazing for it!

Katie said...

hey darl, another little thing to keep in mind, is a quote/concept I came across years ago that I find helps with the whole letting people go thing ...

"people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a life time"

we're not meant to maintain every single relationship for our whole life, some people are just there for a reason (think one night stand:-) a season (your best friend in high school that you couldn't imagine life without, but then your life went in different ways and you realise you dont need each other anymore) or a life time, those rare people that you keep forever.

Don't stress too much about letting people go. its just part of life:-)

I'll stop being such a hippy now, I promise.

xoxo - katie

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