Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sabotage!!

I am currently re-reading "Confessions of a Chocaholic" or something like that by the biggest loser host AJ Rochester. And she talks about sabotage and the hardest stuff is the mind issues.

There are sooo many pages where I feel like she is reading my mind, one example where she talks about debating mentally whether or not to eat something. I use to/still do sometimes do that, waste about 3 hrs fighting myself to decide whether I eat it or not and either way I end up feeling like I lose. I eat it and feel guilty, don't eat and feel like I am starving myself. Or having one bad meal so blowing the whole thing and thinking I've failed. But now I feel like I am apposite, I am too lenient because sometimes I think "well the band will take care of that" - nothing mayjah but I've had about 6-9 mini chocolate eggs today and I know I shouldn't, its only making me and bandie have to work my ass of harder and on Monday when I way in I will regret it. I am slowly getting my head shit together.

Oh and I realised that this time last year I only weighed around 92/93kg - who the fuck puts on 14.9kgs in a year?! Seriously. That is getting me down a bit, thinking I could be under 90 now if I just hadn't become so fkn lazy. Oh well I will still be under 90 eventually but its a little disheartening. But I did 30mins on the xtrainer today then 15min power walk (4% incline, 5.5km/h speed) and my legs feel a little sore so yay, I know you need to change your exercise routine around after a bit because your body gets use to what you do so happy I did that oh and need to start doing weights again - goal for tomorrow :-)

Skinnie Minnie
xo

1 comments:

Bridget said...

Move on..... seriously.... you can't change the past. Shit happends. Focus on today and what you are going to do to change it. You can do this, I know you can. Tell yourself that.

 
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